By M.Rajini
In search of an amazing woman who has defied odds to do what her mind dictated, I accidentally hit upon one, who worried more about the dead than the living. “Dignity to a dead body”, that too an unclaimed or abandoned one, is her calling in life. “No one dies an orphan. Roja is there to bid adieu with respect,” is what Roja has promised to herself, to do till she dies. Roja is an exalted soul who deserves to be the first of the many Empowered Women we will be talking to, at Adyar Times.
Unbelievable statistics of having done the burial ritual for more than 11,000 odd persons within 23 years; shocking facts like having cried the whole night after burying a week-old child with its umbilical cord intact, but neck wringing to death, and abandoned, tugs at our hearts. The personal problems that Roja faces with grit, to date, is a humongous lesson to all ladies out there who recoil at the slightest tug of fate.
Roja’s work finds her at Kannammapet, Panayur, Thiruvanmiyur, Mylapore or other such burial grounds. Whenever I called her she was at the mortuary doing the shifting of a body into an ambulance or at a burial ground saying a prayer. Not a 9 to 5 job. She will be called anytime from dawn to dawn, from hospitals, police stations or even households where no one in the family is willing to do the last rites for a dead relative!!
It started when her stomach did a quick churn, at the sight of a dead body being torn apart by dogs. Roja was 14 then; She quickly alerted the police, thinking it was a murder. The constables told her that it was an unclaimed body and it was usual for people to dispose of it in this manner. This drove an axe into her heart and occupied her thoughts the whole day. The image of the human carcass stuck to her mind. She promised herself that she would seek out unfortunate souls and give them a decent burial. Easier said than done. She had no schooling. She did not know anything about rituals for the dead. Only from what she saw in the neighbourhood and movies. But, her mind was made up. She had to volunteer at the right places and do it on the sly. Only her father knew why she was missing from home at different times of the day. He understood her and even helped her monetarily.
Slowly, it came to light that this girl was devoting her life to this service. Police stations sought her out when there was an unclaimed body in the mortuary beyond the waiting period. They allotted the space for the burial and she performed the last rites in her own manner with a small puja with camphor, milk and garland. The police took care of the necessary expenses.
Roja has a 5-year-old son Rohith, whom she has left in the custody of her father in Chidambaram. Her father is a farmer and has been her moral support for 25 years. Her husband, who fell in love with her and married, was shocked when he heard what she was doing in the name of service. They lived separately for a few years. But, he came back to her after realising the magnitude of what she was doing. Her neighbours were all-time troublemakers who did not want a girl who casually walked in and out of crematoriums, as their neighbour. Roja did not pay heed to their lament that she might bring in some evil spirit. They were worried for their family, she understood.
I asked her slowly if she had seen a ghost in any of the burial grounds. “Not even one. (I breathe a sigh of relief, and she laughs). I have never believed in such stories. There are more evil spirits amongst us than in the cemeteries. People who do not care for their own dead are the worst ghosts I can say. I never cared for people’s threats. My only concern is that no one should die without having someone to give them a decent burial. I have a group of friends – Janaki Ramkumar, Kumar, Ganesan, and Anandham Amma who run a Kaappagam, who always help me with the expenses (A burial costs a minimum of Rs. 4000).” I have been managing so far. The rest I leave to God, who always sends someone to help me.
Roja works at a binding press whenever she gets time. But will that alone help her to sustain her family? Yet, she is unwavering in her noble goal and blind to her own material needs.
Roja can be contacted at 75501 43974.
